Hire a Muggle Assassin
by Ravenclaw's Kitten
Summary: Harry has come to a shocking revelation. And has decided to do something about it. Letting out his Slytherin side he goes to Australia invites his boyfriends, friends, and honorary family, and then tells the rest of Britain to go screw themselves!


~DISCLAIMER~ I really totally sooooo don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Sirius would come back, a few certain people wouldn't die, and Harry'd be a Slytherin in canon, probably without the hero complex... On to the story.

Needs a Title

*Night of July 30th* Number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey*  
Harry Potter was in one word, mad. He was sick and tired of everybody trying to rule his life. He was sick and tired of the stupid magic people turning on him and expecting him to save them. He was sick and tired of the Dursleys abusing him. He was just plain TIRED. And he didn't care anymore. He didn't care if the Wizarding World was destroyed. He didn't care if Voldemort won. And he really didn't care if anyone survived. Because if they needed a child to save them then they really didn't deserve to survive. He was already packed, had his emancipation papers signed, and a one way ticket to Australia. He was leaving tomorrow and he didn't feel guilty in the slightest. He'd bought 6 new owls to deliver his last messages for the Wizarding World. Harry was a bit disappointed that he couldn't be here to see everyones reactions in person but he had already set up cameras and other observational devices in many of the places he suspected the recipients would be when they got his letter. He had also subscribed to the Daily Prophet under his new legal name, Alec Hadrian Evans. He had a paid in full subscription for the next year and he was bound to be amused.  
All Harry, from now on known as Alec, had to do was write and send the 7 letters that would undoubtedly send the British Magical Community into a panic. He decided to do the Ministry first, then the Prophet, the Order, Voldemort, Severus, Remus and then Neville, Luna, Tonks and the Twins. It took nearly five hours to get them all right. When he was finished he attached each letter to an owl, giving Hedwig the one for his friends with strict instructions to not let anyone or thing track her back to his new home. His beloved bird gave an indignant hoot at the very mention that someone could ever track her and he chuckled before apologizing. He told the other owls to do whatever they wanted after they delivered the messages so long as they didn't come back to him. He made sure they knew that it wasn't personal but he couldn't be found right now. They bobbed their heads to show they understood. Then he told all of them that they could leave the next morning after he left. They all hooted in agreement before settling down to sleep for the night. Thinking they had the right idea he also got ready for bed and went to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Afternoon of July 31st* Minister's Office, Ministry of Magic, London*

"WHAT IS THIS?" Cornelius Fudge screamed in rage. Everyone on the floor paused in their work to look apprehensivly at the Minister's door. They all eyed each other nervously, wondering who would be fired this time and hoping it wouldn't be them.  
Percy Weasley rushed into the Minister's office to see what had upset his Boss this time. The sight he walked in on was Cornelius practically foaming at the mouth shooting (admittedly weak) death glares at a piece of paper on his desk while holding what looked to be his second glass of firewhiskey in violently shaking hands. Percy walked over to the desk calmly and picked up what he now recognized as a letter and scanned over it before paling rapidly and reading it over carefully a second time.

To Whom It May Concern at the Ministry:

It is with pleasure I inform you that I quit. You may wonder why this would concern the Ministry as I am not employed by you but as it has to do with all of Britain's magical community I decided you would like a head's up. I am Harry James Potter, also known as the Boy-Who-Lived, and I refuse to fight Voldemort anymore. No I am not joining him, as it would be completely against my morals to join my parents murderer but I will no longer stand at the front of the line and risk my life for fickle adults that need a kid to save them. Save yourselves or find a new Savior cause it ain't me no more. And if Voldemort does succeed in gaining total domination of Britain then I say good luck and good riddance to you all.

Best of Luck H.

And with that Percy Weasley fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Afternoon of July 31st* Rita Skeeter's Office, Daily Prophet Headquarters, London*

"AHHHHHHH! YES! YES! YES! YESSSSSSS! This is brilliant. I'll be the reporter of the century with this story! Thank you thank you thank you Harry Potter!" Rita Skeeter celebrated her step up in the reporting world.

The chief editor of the Daily Prophet, Aaron Junipers, was suitably worried when he heard one of his Ministry reporters giving thanks to one Harry Potter and hurried to the Skeeter woman's office. There he found himself almost completely sure that he needed to contact the Mental Ward of St. Mungos and sursprised she wasn't dancing naked around a ritual fire with all the chanting and celebrating Rita Skeeter was doing. Rita stopped her cheering when she finally noticed her boss in her office and gave him a blinding smile before proudly handing him the piece of parchment she had been hugging. He raised an eyebrow but looked down and read the letter anyways. What he found had him nearly rejoicing as well. Though for different reasons as this was exactly what his Lord needed to win.

To Ms. Rita Skeeter and the Daily Prophet:

I have a fantabulous story for you. You know me of course. Called me an attention seeking liar last year, recently I'm the hero again. But none of that matters since what I'm about to tell you will likely make everybody hate me. I'm leaving. Not to train, not to prepare, not for safe keeping. I'm leaving you all alone to defeat the big bad dark lord by yourselves because I refuse to do it for you. You can call me a coward or a traitor if you want to. But I think those are your titles by rights because everyone in the Wizarding World has hidden behind and looked to me, a child, to save them, fully grown and qualified witches and wizards, from Voldemort. Does anybody else see the problem there? And everyone continuously turned their backs on me as well. Only to come crawling back to ask for forgiveness and protection. Well, no more. And before anybody decides to question my loyalties. No I do not follow the "Lord" that killed my parents. I'm leaving the magical world entirely and want nothing to do with any of you. If Voldemort wins then Good Riddance to you all. And I suppose if the light side manages to win then congratulations finally getting off your arses and doing something for yourselves for a change. As I don't see that happening anytime soon...

Best of Luck H.

p.s. If you would be so kind as to reprint this with the article you are sure to write it would be much appreciated.

p.s.s. I would suggest leaving the country or giving up peacefully while you can. Better than dieing, right?

Aaron stared in shock at the letter in his hands before an exuberant smile took over his face and he told Rita to write up an article and print it first thing tomorrow morning. Before running to inform His Lord of the exciting news.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Afternoon of July 31st* Kitchen of 12 Grimauld Place, Order Headquarters, London*

"It seems that the Dark Lord has decided to halt his attacks for a time and plan his next course of action." Severus was just finishing his report on the Dark Lord when an unfamiliar owl swooped in followed by another, and another. Everyone was suitably confused when the first went to Dumbledore, the second to Severus and the third to Remus. Everyone was even more confused when Remus and Severus shared what seemed to be a significant look and placed their letters in their robes. But what had everybody shocked and just a little frightened was Dumbledore reading the letter, paling rapidly and then snarling at the letter while glaring death at the owl that delivered it. The Headmaster of Hogwarts took a deep breath before clearing his throat to get everyone's attention.  
"It appears that Mr. Potter has declined his acception to Hogwarts this year and would like for me to read the second letter in the envelope to you all as that apparently has his explanation. So, let us see what Mr. Potter has to say for himself.

To The Order of the Phoenix:

It has come to my attention that you all expect me to not only save Britain from but also kill the Dark Lord Voldemort. It has also come to my attention that you have yet to train or prepare me in anyway. And I have the perfect solution to the problem. You don't have to. You see, I've left. I can't honestly say that I care anymore if you lose or win this war that you dragged me into and put me in the middle of. So, I left. And I won't be fighting for you anymore. I won't be fighting for anyone. And I'd like to point out that it is truly sad when grown adults and fully qualified witches and wizards take to hiding behind a child and expect said child to save them from the darkest and most powerful Dark Lord in centuries. Does anybody else see how wrong that is? Well, anyway, if you can't save yourselves then it sucks to be you.

Best of Luck H.

p.s. You might want to look into hiring a muggle assassin. I hear they are quite good at getting rid of unwanted people. Be careful though, they are a bit pricey.

p.s.s. Any and Every thing that you took from the Potter and Black vaults have or will soon be returned with interest. So if you were thinking to continue using my money you were sorely mistaken. Have a pleasant day!"

There was a brief shocked silence that soon turned into a cacophony of outrage, anger, desperation, and disbelief. Through it all Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred and George Weasley sat silently watching with proud amusement at the chaos Harry had caused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Evening of July 31st* Meeting Room, Death Eater Headquarters, Location Unknown*

"My Lord, might I recommend that we gather our forces and plan an attack on the Ministry while they are still trying to get their bearings?" Lucius Malfoy suggested to Voldemort during the End-of-the-Month Inner Circle Counsel. The Dark Lord nodded agreeably to that before bringing up the question everyone there had yet to answer. "And what are we to do with Potter? Anybody figured it out yet?" And as if by fate, an owl swooped in the one open window in the room and landed on the arm of his chair. It had tied on it's legs what looked to be a letter so naturally every wand in the room was pointed at it and the bird casting every revealing spell each person could think of before finally deeming it safe enough to open. Lord Voldemort reached out and, upon reading who the letter was from, dropped it in shock. He stayed that way for almost a full two minutes with his most trusted death eaters staring at him in shock. Suddenly the doors to the meeting room flew open to admit an exuberant Aaron Junipers, which seemed to snap everybody out of their shock as wands were once again pointed at the intrusion to their meeting. Aaron took no notice of this and rushed to kneel and kiss his Lord's robes before standing and telling his news. "My Lord, you'll never believe who the Daily Prophet got a letter from. We got one from Harry Potter, we did. And, you'll never believe it, it's just so amazing, My Lord. He told us that he's stopped fighting. He doesn't want to fight for the light anymore. He says he isn't going away to train or anything he's just up and left. My Lord, it's a miracle, it's just what we needed. It's... I'm sorry, My Lord, I seem to have gotten carried away." The chief editor of the Daily Prophet bowed and waited to see if he would be punished for his rambling or not.  
The Dark Lord looked on is amusement as his subject rambled on about Harry Potter before finally stopping and asking for forgiveness. He sighed silently, "Your rambling was understandable and will be forgiven this once. I find it interesting that you would come bareing this news but minutes after I recieved a letter telling me much the same." Voldemort paused to see the shock on his most loyal's faces before continuing, "Would any be interested in hearing it? And Junipers, you are dismissed." Aaron hid his disappointment and nodded, leaving the room to go back to his office. Once the low ranking Death Eater was gone and wards had been placed around the room to stop or redirect anymore interruptions Voldemort picked up the letter and read aloud for his most faithful followers and confidants to hear.

For Voldemort and Any You Wish to Share With:

It has come to my attention that I have been manipulated for the greater part of my life and I will be putting a stop to it as of now. I am writeing you this letter not to ask to join you but to inform you that I am no longer fighting in this war. I'm not going off to train or anything, I am simply leaving Britain. Dumbledore the Prophet and the Ministry have all been informed and I figured you deserved the same courtesy. Now, I want revenge on those that thought they could control and use me. Leaving is not part of this revenge, it is simply my choice in life. Now, I have taken control of my inheritance and as such am currently in control of the Order of the Pheonix Headquarters. If you take a magically binding oath to not harm and not let any of your followers (marked or unmarked) harm Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom or Luna Lovegood I will hold all Order Members in the house and give you entrance. Once the oath is spoken another paper will appear attached to this one with the address and best time to attack. I feel it would make the standings more equal if I were to tell you that the Goblins have declared official neutrality as long as you leave them out of the conflict and that as one of the Founder's Heir Apparents you own a small piece of Hogwarts and have minor control of the wards. If you were to have other Heirs in your ranks you would have more control. And I, as the 1st Heir of both Slytherin and Gryffindor, have taken control of the wards from the Headmaster, torn down the Anti-Apparition and Anti-Portkey wards, and made it possible for any to go on school grounds as long as there is no intent to harm the school. If the school is harmed the attackers will immediately be banished from the grounds and not be aloud back until a week has passed or they come with the intention to lend their magic to help heal the school. Also enclosed is a shrunken package containing details to a ritual that will give you your former body and state of mind back as well as most of the ingredients you will need.

Best of Luck H.

Everyone seemed momentarily awed before large smiles broke out on everyone's faces. Lucius Malfoy bravely stepped forward, "Will you be taking the oath, milord?" Voldemort comtemplated that for a brief moment. He nodded, "Yes, I believe I will. It is only fair after all, that Potter get his revenge after he has helped us so much." The Death Eaters once again smiled excitedly. Bellatrix decided to be brave this time, "Will you be doing the ritual as well, Master?" Voldemort stayed silent much longer after this question, before glancing around at his Inner Circle and nodding once more, "I will, but only after some of you have looked it over." They all nodded in agreement. Voldemort looked around once again, finally noticing that the delivery owl was still here snooping around. He narrowed his eyes, the owl didn't deserve to be going through his things. He smirked and hissed out, $~Nagini, come here. I have a treat for you.~$ His beloved snake came through her special door and looked curiously at him, wondering what he had for her. The Dark Lord nodded his head at the oblivious bird still poking it's beak in places it shouldn't be. The snake grinned as happily as a snake can grin before attacking.  
Lucius stepped forward once more, "Maybe it would be best to take the oath now, My Lord. So that we have time to prepare an attack." Voldemort nodded before swearing the oath and proceeding to go over the newly revealed information and the ritual with his friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Evening of July 31st* Living Quarters of Severus Snape, Hogwarts, Location Unknown*

Severus Snape did not know that he was one of the only people able to leave #12 Grimauld Place that night. He didn't know that the Order was in a massive panic. And he certainly didn't know that after he read the letter burning a hole in his pocket that he honestly wouldn't care anymore. And since he did not know any of this, he sat down in his favorite chair in front of the fire, and opened the letter to read;

Dear Severus,

I am sure by now you have heard that I am leaving magic behind to forge my way through the world on my own and let everyone in the wizarding world suffer. Well, you have been mildly misinformed. Of course I'm not leaving the entire magic world, just Britain and all of the stupid people in it. I am, obviously, not going to fight Voldemort anymore. And as I am getting out of something that I was forced to do with your help, I decided to offer my help to you. In this letter's envelope is a shrunken package containing a potion and information on a spell I created to essentially destroy the connection between you and Voldemort. All you need to do is rub the potion onto the dark mark every 4 hours for 48 hours then say the incantation with the wand movements and you can say goodbye to the tattoo forever. I feel that I should warn you that it will be increasingly painful and you will likely be knocked out after the spell is performed for a day or two so please have someone with you at all times while doing this. Aside from all of that. My name is legally changed to Alecxander Hadrian Evans, feel free to call me Alec. I would also like to extend an invitation to join me in Australia when you are done getting rid of the nastiness. So I expect to see you within the week. Also, as per my parents' and Sirius' wills, you now own a cottage on the coast of France, a villa in Italy and 50% of Pike's Valuable Potions, Ingredients, Instruments, and More. You also have 500 thousand galleons to do with as you will. I believe that is all I need to inform you of.

With Love Alec Evans

p.s. I thought I'd let you know that I approve of your relationship with my adopted Uncle and sister.

p.s.s. There is also a portkey enclosed in the envelope if you want to come to Australia once you are free. The activation code is ~Ditch the Brits~. If you don't want to use it the deactivation code is ~Honorable Sacrifice~. Say that and the portkey will be turned into a mere trinket never to be of any use. Choose wisely.

He stared in awe at the package he pulled out of the envelope. He really wanted to just start right away but he knew Har, Alec, would be upset if he did, so he sat down and started writing out two letters, one to each of his lovers. For the first time since his teen years, a large genuine smile appeared on his face. He was going to be free. And his relationship had been approved by the only person whose opinion actually mattered. Today, was good. Very, very good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Evening of July 31st* Moony's Manor, Unplotable Forest, Location Unknown*

Remus Lupin was, understandably, ecstatic. He'd just returned from an Order Meeting where he'd found out that his adopted nephew had decided to abandon the manipulating old goat Dumbledore and the fickle Wizarding World. Not only that, but he had gotten to see the panic Harry's letter had caused and he'd recieved a letter from him as well. The day could hardly get any better. Or at least that was what he thought until he read the letter.

Hey Uncle Moony!

I hope you got a kick outta everybody's reactions, I know I will when I view the recordings. And, I feel you deserve to know that most everybody has been misinformed just slightly. I'm not leaving magic behind, just Britain and everybody here. I legally changed my name to Alecxander Hadrian Evans and I'm officially emancipated in both, Magical and Non-Magical, Worlds. I also have a house in Australia that I would like for you to join me at. Don't worry, there are others invited. Oh, and I think I should tell you that Severus will need you to stay with him, or he needs to stay with you, for the next 3-5 days. And, as it states in my parents' and Sirius' wills you now own Moony's Forest, 25% of Pike's Valuable Potions, Ingredients, Instruments, and More, 20% of Zonkos, 43% of Honeydukes, and 1 million galleons to do with as you will. You also own Moony's Manor (I think you already knew that), Padfoot's Party Pad in Los Angeles, and a villa in Greece. I love you Remus. Make sure you help Severus. And I really really hope that you join me in Australia.

With Love Alec Evans

p.s. I definitely approve of your relationship with Sev and my adopted sister.

p.s.s. So did Sirius.

p.s.s.s. There is also a portkey enclosed in the envelope if you want to come to Australia once you are free. The activation code is ~Ditch the Brits~. If you don't want to use it the deactivation code is ~Honorable Sacrifice~. Say that and the portkey will be turned into a mere trinket never to be of any use. Choose wisely.

If Remus hadn't been already sitting down he would have fallen. As it was, he could feel himself bonelessly collapsing back into his armchair. Through the jumble in his brain he decided that he would wait for Severus' owl before picking him up. For now, he would sit here, and bask in the knowledge that his relationship was accepted by the only two people who really mattered, and that Harr, Alec was safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Evening of July 31st* Apartment of the Weasley Twins, Above Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, Diagon Alley, London*

Fred and George Weasley had just gotten home after a thoroughly amusing Order Meeting to find a thoroughly annoyed Hedwig waiting for them. She stuck out her leg imperiously waiting for them to untie the letter attached. George went forward to untie it while Fred went to get some treats and water for her. She hooted approvingly when her reward was placed in front of her and dug in. While the creepily smart bird ate and drank her fill Fred and George settled together on their couch to open the latest letter from Harry.

Hey Lovers!

How goes it? Got any new pranks running amok over there? I'm sure you do. But that isn't why this letter was written. I need a favor guys. And before you read the second letter you should get Neville, Luna, and Tonks. Read it together okay? Thanks dearies!

With Love Alec

p.s. You know how you always call me Alec? Well, my name is now officially and legally Alecxander Hadrian Evans.

Fred glanced at his twin then walked to their fireplace to floo the Longbottom residence and then Tonks' flat. They knew that Luna was spending the last half of the summer with Neville. Once he had convinced the scary volture known as Augusta Longbottom that the two underage teens would be safe, and no they weren't going to corrupt their innocence, and yes, they would stay in the apartment, and no they weren't going to be playing any pranks on each other or innocent bystanders, Neville and Luna came through the floo. Once they were through he bid a good day to the Lady Longbottom and ended the connection before starting another one with Tonks. After again going through the basics ("No, we AREN'T going to prank you or anyone else!") and mentioning it had to do with Alec (their codename for Harry, now really named Alec) Tonks came through the floo as well. He completely shut off the connection before checking that George had activated all the wards (Privacy, Silency, Anti-Eavesdropping, Etc.) and going to sit beside his twin.

George decided to take over and grabbed the envelope containing the second letter and five pendants of some sort. "Ok, we got a letter from Harry." 'Well, actually we got two.' "But we couldn't read" 'Or see the' "second one until you" 'were all with us.' George and Fred alternated saying. Tonks shook off the momentary dizziness that almost always came when the twins talked like that, "Okay, well, we're here. Hurry up and read the second letter!" Fred and George grinned at her, "Right-o, dearie!" Fred reached into the envelope again and pulled it out to read.

Hello hello everyone!

Hope everyone is doing well. So Tonks, Fred and George were at the Order Meeting when my letter was delivered so they have at least some idea of what is going on, but you've been slightly misinformed. See, I've decided that Britain can learn to save itself since I'm more than tired of doing it. In my letter to the Order it said I was leaving magic behind, but I could never do that. I've been planning for quite some time now and have decided to move to Australia. I've already left the muggle way so no need to worry about me. Nev, Luna, Tonks, since the twins probably haven't informed you yet, my name has legally been changed to Alecxander Hadrian Evans, so you'll have to get used to calling me Alec all the time. Also, I'd like to formally extend an invitation to all five of you to join me in Australia. Per Sirius' will Fred and George now own 60% of Zonkos, 25% of Pike's Valuable Potions, Ingredients, Instruments, and More and 500 thousand galleons to do with as you will. Tonks you get 500 thousand galleons as well and the blessing of Sirius, not to mention the castle in Brazil and 20% of Gladrag's. Enjoy. Neville you get 100 thousand galleons and 40% of Gilbert's Great Greenhouse. Luna you get 50 thousand galleons and the Daily Prophet to do with as you will. Tonks, be prepared to get a letter from Sev as you and Remus will have to stay with him for about five days. There are five portkeys in the envelope. The brooms are for the Twins, they will each carry up to seven people. Choose people you know you can trust. Ron and Hermione will not be accepted as I'm sure you already guessed. Molly must also be excluded. I'm sorry and if you want to stay in Britain I understand. Tonks gets the hot pink zebra. It can carry up to six people, please include Kingsley and Mad-Eye if they want to go. Remus and Severus have their own portkeys. Neville yours is the wand crossed with the sword it will carry up to five people. The last one is special, as it is a genuine Seer's ball, shrunken of course. This one is for Luna and it will carry up to four people. Sorry, sis, but it would mess with the properties of the ball if it could carry anymore. I'd like to caution you all to not mention anything about me until they have agreed to come as I would like to keep it quiet about where I am. You do not have to bring that many people, but you can. Stay safe guys!

With Love, Alec Evans

p.s. Tonks, I totally approve of your relationship with Sev and Remmy. And like I already said, Sirius bestowed his blessing. Nev, Luna, congratulations! I'm glad my brother and sister finally got together.

p.s.s. The activation code is ~Ditch the Brits~ for the portkeys. They will only activate if you are touching it. If you decide to stay there then say ~Honorable Sacrifice~ and it will turn into an ordinary pendant and be useless. (Except the ball of course, it just won't be a portkey anymore.)

p.s.s.s. Remember that you really do have a choice, and if you really don't want to come then don't. I support you either way! Choose wisely!

Everyone was silent for a minute, absorbing everything they had just heard. Then Neville and Luna stood from the couch, gathered their portkeys, gave everyone hugs then flooed back to Longbottom Manor. Tonks' hair suddenly went from her normal fuschia color to zebra striped black and hot pink. Then she took her portkey gave the twins a hug, ruffled their hair and flooed back to her flat to gather her things and then head to Remus'. The twins simply got up and started to pack all of their things. Once finished they discussed who they would bring and sent the selected people owls to meet with them tomorrow morning. At the Longbottom Manor and Moony's Manor much the same things were taking place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~GWHPFWRLNTSSLLNL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Afternoon of August 7th* Alec's Castle of Awesome, Unplottable Island, Coast of Australia*

Alec had gotten communications from everyone he'd invited to join him and they were all arriving today. He was understandably excited to see his family and friends again. He had used the week before they all arrived to clean and organize his new home. He'd bonded with Dobby and Winky begore he came to Australia and bought another one after he saw how big the Castle was. He'd done all the cooking this week and he'd designed 17 rooms and had Emery, his other House Elf, design most of the others, leaving about 20 neutral bedrooms for the owners to decorate as they wanted to. Dobby and Winky had cleaned the entire castle top to bottom. He'd gotten elecricity running throughout the castle, stocked all three Kitchens, six Potions Labs, and his closet. Bought 17 Firebolts and 29 Nimbus2001s, and a Professional Quidditch Ball Set. He had Gringotts send out a Warding Team to put just about every Ward known to Wizarding kind for protecting and hiding from Muggles on the House, he'd added almost 9/10ths of his magic into them so they were inexplicably connected to him and probably some of the strongest wards in the world. He'd been out like a light for close to 16 hours after that, but it had been worth it. The Wards extended to about a mile off the coastline of his island, just like the Unplottable Ward that had been on it since the first Potter had built it, and they informed him of anyone within two miles of the island, attacked anyone that stepped foot on the island if they were not first invited with a small bolt of lightning that gradually got bigger and stronger voltage the longer they stayed on the island without permission and the farther inland they went. There were anti portkey and apparition wards, though if the portkey was made by him they could get through and only those tied to the wards could apparate through them. You could only floo in if you knew all 9 passwords and the address and you could only floo out if you knew the password of the day all of which only he and the wards could give out. He was waiting in the Reception hall, where all portkeys and apparitions were redirected to and the Floo connected fireplaces were located, for his friends to arrive and wondering who would come first.  
As the thought entered his mind the wards informed him that two portkeys were arriving. Seconds later Remus and Severus appeared with two trunks each and both looking slightly pale. He walked forward and gave them each a hug, calling Winky in to examine them and take their belongings to their rooms before leading them to one of the couches to wait for the rest to arrive. A few minutes later and another group arrived, this one consisting of Luna, her father Xeno, Professor Flitwick, and Mr. Ollivander. They each had at least two trunks, three boxes, and a cage to house some sort of animal. He had Winky check each of them over and Dobby and Emery bring their luggage to their rooms as well. Alec gave Luna a hug and invited them all to the chairs and couches while they waited for the others to arrive. Tonks, Mad-Eye, Kingsley, and Andromeda (her mother) arrived as they were sitting down with all of their belongings, and five seconds later Neville appeared with Seamus, Dean, Professor Sprout and his grandmother Augusta. He hugged Tonks, Andy, Nev, Seamus, Dean, and Augusta in greeting before shaking hands with Kingsley, Moody, Ted, and Pomona and showing them to some seats informing them that they were just waiting for Fred and George's portkeys to arrive before they started the tour. They all sat around and talked for about ten minutes before both groups were deposited in a heap in the middle of the room with Fireworks exploding around them and the Hogwarts school song being sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. The first to pop up out of the pile were Fred and George themselves dusting off and striding over to give Harry a kiss. The rest of the two groups were busy detangling themselves from each other and their belongings. Once they were all seperated it was discovered that they had Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy, and Ginny. Alec imediately noticed how Ginny and Lee were standing a bit closer than normal, Percy and Oliver were holding hands, Alicia had her arm around Katie's shoulder, Bill kept on shooting looks at Kingsley, Charlie was eyeing Dean and Angelina and Seamus had their heads bent together whispering about something. He knew Percy and Oliver had been going on since they were in Hogwarts, and Lee and Ginny had probably been devloping since the beginning of summer when the twins hired her too help out in the shop, Katie had had a crush on Alicia for years, and Bill and Kingsley most likely got started when the Order started up. The rest of the couples, or soon to be couples he had no idea how they came about, though he was definitely interested. He called for Winky, Dobby and Emery to again bring their luggage to their rooms and check for any injuries. Once everyone was cleared he called everyone's attention to himself.  
"Okay, everyone listen up. I'm very glad you took me up on my offer to come and live with me. Most of you will be getting your own rooms, any couples that have been together for more than a year or are over the age of 17 can share if you want to. You'll be getting a grand tour in a few minutes but first I want to go over a few details and tie you all to the wards. I know that not all of you know each other, so tonight we'll all be dining together to change that. You can ask any questions at that time or during the tour. The wards extend to one mile off the coast line of the island in any direction. It is unplotable, there are people repelent wards, and defensive/offensive wards. The island itself is quite large with many communities and reserves spread out across, under, and around it. You can go anywhere you like but I must insist that if you visit any of the communities you follow their customs, laws, and rules. If you do not they reserve the right to punish you as they see fit. You will treat all beings on this island with respect. Whether you dislike them or not you will respect them unless they disrespect you first. No exceptions. Anyone caught being disrespectful will be punished. The creature reserves house Dragons, Nundus, Manticores and some less dangerous creatures such as Unicorns and Thestrals. You are all welcome to volunteer at them or any other place looking for help. If any of you feel you can not comply you are welcome to leave now after swearing a magical oath and signing a binding contract. You have three chances before you will be limited to certain areas in the house and around the island. You will then have another three chances after which you will be forcibly removed from the island with an altered erased memory courtesy of a combination of Vampire, Goblin, and Elf magic. I sincerely hope it won't come to that. Now then, you'll all be tied to the wards simultaneously, except for the people who recieved portkeys. I'll be doing each of you seperately later, after the tour. It's a fairly simple process, in a few moments a glowing rope will appear in front of you, you will grab it and focus about 1/8th of your magic itno it. You will feel a slight tugging sensation, then a moments exhaustion, before a warm feeling will take place and there will be a little humming in the back of your mind. This is going to allow you to apparate through the wards, no side-alongs, the wards will also inform you of the daily password to floo out of the castle and the 9 weekly passwords and address to floo into the castle. I'll inform you now that unless a person is connected to the wards only I can tell anyone the passwords or sidealong someone in and out. Now then, everyone please grab the rope."

A.N. Hey everyone. I wrote this planning on it being one-shot... and COMPLETELY different. As it was originally based on the idea the Harry said "Go hire a muggle assassin, losers. Because I'm sooooo over saving your sorry butts. Then it turned into this whole big thing. I still might just leave it at this, because I'm lazy. But then again I might get hit with this whole big inspiration thing and write another chapter. If I do that's probably as long as it'll get. But anyways, please tell me what you think! I'd love some constructive criticism! Or even just a "Hey, this is cool. I enjoyed reading it." This wasn't beta'd. So please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes you see. And if you point them out I'd be much appreciative. Also, if anyone could suggest a title I'd love you forever! Much love and thanks!

Oh, and if I do continue, these are the pairings that will be mentioned or hinted at... though most have already been. Tell me what you think, yeh?  
FredAlecGeorge, SevTonksRemus, NevLuna, LeeGin, OliverPercy, SeamusAngelina, CharlieDean, AndyXeno, McGonagallOllivander, ArthurPomona


End file.
